Jackie: Slayer of the Vampyres
by sychofrantic
Summary: Like Jackie doesn't have enough to deal with… set during/after 'You're My Best Friend' ep3, season h8, and then an alternate universe from there with a few familiar circumstances. I put this in x-overs but I think I have a better chance of people reading it if I just put it here. Enjoy! J/H, E/D
1. Chapter 1

**Jackie: Slayer of the Vampyres.**

A/N: Hello! I haven't written anything new for soooo long, but I was browsing through some great Zen fic and found a BtVS/T70S crossover challenge and had to have a go, it sounded so fun. Here is the challenge: (forum) .net/topic/37807/48204897/1/

I called it this particular title based on the line from 'Storyteller' (Buffy season 7) that Andrew suggest as a good title for his slay documentary.

**A/N 2: I also very much need a beta to help me with editing. Continuity, grammar and tenses are my main issue (as you'll read from these first couple of chapters).**

Summary: Like Jackie doesn't have enough to deal with… set during/after 'You're My Best Friend' ep3, season h8, and then an alternate universe from there (with a few familiar circumstances).

/

**Prologue**

"_They're creepy and they're kooky, mysterious and spooky…"_

Linda exhaled just before her back collided with, and cracked, her antique gold-framed mirror and she fumed. Well, she fumed as she ducked a series of furious punches from the vampire, and swiped him over with her leg.

"_They're all together ooky, the Addams Family!"_

The mirror had been a gift from her mother for getting the Saturn Award for best actress, and was probably older than the lumpy-faced jerk she was fighting now. That was the night she found out she was the Slayer, and everything she loved was no longer relevant. In its place came a life she never would have chosen. She never even thought it had been on the table as a choice.

The vampire dodged another of her kicks and turned the TV up as loud as possible. Probably so other people in the hotel wouldn't hear the scuffle. But it was putting her off, too.

"Lindaaa!" he said, lisping through his extended yellow fangs, "Liiiiiiindaaaaa!"

"What?" she snapped, annoyed, and his only response was another 'Liiiindaaaaa!" She hated how vampires always tried to creep her out. In fact, she hated everything about them.

Oh and before you wonder, working on the Exorcist did NOT prepare her in any way for being the Slayer. Her Watcher, who now lay on the floor (probably dead) said ANY desensitization to horror should really be helpful. In retrospect, he probably only said that to excuse himself from being all that helpful. But working on a horror film wasn't, either. She knew how to sit in a make-up chair for two hours and look gross, but that was it.

She could also kick vampire butt, but that had nothing to do with her acting. Apparently if you're "chosen", you get super strength and agility. Yeah, a great tradeoff for no longer having any real life to speak of.

"_Their house is a museum, when people come to see-em…"_

She regretted the cocaine. She was too high for this, and The Addams Family began to blare out even louder without anyone touching the volume. Her Watcher's blood would've been full of the stuff, and—

"_They really are a scre-um the Addams Family!"_

"Oof!" He landed a solid fist in her stomach and she unwisely curled over. She struggled, but as the vampire looped his arm around her vulnerable neck and squeezed, she felt overpowered for the first time in months.

She had never been prepared for this. Ever. She was an actress, she loved coke and parties and having a good time.

"Gurrrrggghhhh!" she gargled, as the vampire squeezed tighter. In ways, it was a relief.

"_So get a witch's shawl on…"_

She really had no help with this crappy-ass job, either. Her uppity English Watcher was the one who'd introduced her to cocaine in the first place. Not a great Slayer-helper as it turned out, not with vampires coming in droves trying to bag the Slayer trophy.

"…_a broomstick you can crawl on!"_

Her vision was fading fast. She used a free arm to make a grab for its hair, but his fangs clamped quickly and viciously onto her wrist, and she could feel the drain.

"_We're going to make a call on…"_

Everything was slowing down, so slow. Her biggest regret was… everything, but mostly the cocaine.

"Ah well," was her dying thought, "Someone else's turn…."

/

**Chapter One**

"…_The Addams Family!"_

Jackie shivered, a weird feeling was making her head tingle.

"Okay, that's enough for me," she sighed to herself, placing the half-smoked joint on Donna's Dinky Dog ashtray. She didn't really like Addams Family, she thought it was cheesy. She preferred really scary stuff, like Texas Chainsaw Massacre or the Exorcist. She liked feeling scared and horrified from films.

She looked over to where Sam and Donna were perched on the couch, showing each other the different articles they liked in the latest Cosmopolitan.

She didn't like feeling scared and horrified from things that were actually happening.

"Do either of you want more of this joint?" She almost kicked herself at how pathetic she sounded. Jackie Burkhart wasn't the one who went crawling for friendships, people crawled for friendship from _her_. She'd never felt this insecure before, never felt so alone…

'I wish I was dead.' She thought, as she watched neither girl in the room acknowledge what she said. She hated thinking that, that she wished she was dead. That was the type of thing unpopular or ugly people wished. She couldn't help it. The minute Sam stepped through the door, and Jackie knew what Steven had done…

"I did say something, you know!" she snapped, jumping to her feet. Since that night in the bar (when she'd flashed her boob and made a fool of herself), she promised herself that she'd never let herself get like this again. Something was wrong with her though, she had less control than usual, felt less confident and perfect. For the first time in years, she felt very much… alone.

"Yeah we know," Sam said with a giggle, "your voice is pretty hard to miss."

Donna giggled too, and Jackie froze. The burn was weak, and if it was just Donna saying it and Donna laughing at it, she wouldn't have cared at all. But this really didn't feel right anymore. Jackie and Donna used to have fun teasing one another all the time, it was their thing. Now, with Sam here, it felt real. Like real hatred and real insults. She couldn't let it cross that line, that thin line of thinking, then knowing someone you care about hates you.

Of course she would never tell Donna this. If she learned anything about love from her many ordeals, it was to keep it to herself.

"I'm out of here!" She pulled on her jacket and grabbed her overnight bag.

"Jackie…"

"Let her go, Donna," Sam said, still not looking up from the Cosmo, "She'll probably just whine all night anyway."

"Well, that's probably true, but—"

"Good BYE!" she interrupted, storming out into the night. Usually she could take a good burn or twenty, but not tonight. Sam had walked into her life, ruined everything she cared about, and she couldn't do anything about it. Her fear of losing anyone else was too great.

The old Jackie would've laughed at this new Jackie. "Scared to be alone? Ridiculous. Are you really going to let this bubble-headed whore take everything that's yours and you aren't gonna hit her in the eye? What a loser!"

She sighed. A loser is someone who's lost. So yeah, she was a loser.

It wasn't a long walk home, but it was depressing and dark. The moon was barely there, and once you left the two-mile radius of the main town, there were no street lights either.

_*Crack!*_

She carried on walking, unalarmed at the sound. People never wanted to hurt Jackie Burkhart, it was probably somebody just curious about how her hair was so bouncy, or where she got it done. But she couldn't be bothered right now.

_*Snap!*_

"Yeah, I hear you and I don't have time to give you my number OR fashion tips so please just leave me alone!"

A deep giggle answered her and she stopped, thought of Donna and Sam giggling, and anger hit her like a truck, "Listen, bozo—"

The voice jumped out from the dark, grabbing her around the arms and squeezing tight. It was so dark she could barely see his face, but he was definitely WAY too weird looking for her to consider dating him.

So she said, "Sorry, but you're WAY too weird-looking for me to consider dating you."

He didn't let go, rather he started to pull her close and sniff her hair and neck. It suddenly occurred to her: these must be the people that karate guy was talking about, the ones that intend to do her harm. Huh, so they DO exist.

"What do I need to do again?" she asked aloud, just as she felt a tongue flick out on her neck, "Ew! Okay, I'm just gonna try—"

She kneed him, as hard as she could, in the balls. He howled, a noise she delighted in, and pushed him backwards until he slammed into a tree. She almost fell, but once she righted herself he was gone.

"What a scaredy cat," she said, with a huge grin, coughing on some dust that had appeared in the air during their scuffle. "Wow that was easier than I thought. Why do they have a whole class for this?"

Adrenaline and blood pumping, she felt… good! Better than she had in ages. Like she could take on the world and win. She didn't want it to ever end.

She arrived home, and it ended. The house was empty. It had been since Pam, shortly after leaving Bob, had decided to 'return to her homeland of Mexico'. She rolled her eyes at the memory. Pam's homeland was supposed to be here, with her.

Her mother did try, but that was the problem. Her finally trying made her realize she couldn't, or didn't really feel like it. Jackie didn't know, her mother's note didn't really explain much other than that utilities were paid up until the end of the quarter, whatever that meant.

'I wish I was dead,' she thought with resign. 'Is there any point to being beautiful, wonderful and having awesome hair if I've got nothing else?'

She lay down on the couch and hugged herself into a tight ball, waiting for someone, anyone, to come through her front door.

/

Africa was hot, Jackie decided. Everything looked dead. It was the middle of the night, and she couldn't hear anything fun going on. Man, Eric was such a dumbass for coming here.

She wandered around what looked like a small campsite. There was a small, wooden cabin, and to the side were several tents. Something made her need to go have a look.

The first tent was Eric's, she saw this right away. There was his stupid Dorothy Hamill hair, his ridiculous Star Wars sleeping bag… but no, something wasn't right. She reached out to shake him awake, but before her hand made contact, his eyes flew open, wide with fear.

'Help… me…' he mouthed, no sound came out.

"What, Eric?" she said, a panicked feeling growing inside her like a balloon.

Suddenly his face was altered, almost a completely different face appeared, but it was still Eric. His eyes were now pitch black, and his mouth now formed a sneer. He looked more horrible than he ever had, and THAT was saying something.

"Abstergo…" he hissed, in a voice that wasn't Eric's, "Abstergo, Abstergo, Abstergo…"

She couldn't move her arms, she couldn't do anything but watch her friend's face slowly degrade as he chanted the same word over and over.

"Hey…" she said weakly, feeling herself start to fade, "Hey… Hey! Stop! What are you doing?"

Eric stopped chanting, and gazed at her with pools of black, then he grinned, big pointy yellow teeth gleaming, "Fuck off, Slayer."

She gasped herself awake.

/

**Chapter 2**

"At 8.30am this morning, famous actress Linda Blair of Exorcist fame was found dead in her New York hotel room. She has been decapitated, dismembered, disemboweled…"

Hyde shuddered, and turned down the radio. He wasn't a pussy, but that many 'd' words was enough to turn anyone's stomach. Especially when they're all done to one hot actress.

"Turn that back up, man!" Leo said. Hyde did, mostly out of shock. He hadn't ever heard Leo talk loud enough to use an exclamation point before. In fact, he sounded very weird.

"…the letters 'SFR' were carved into her back, although authorities can find no gang-related links to the acronym. Her manager, Kirk Wilder, has yet to be located for questioning, and is the lead suspect."

Hyde had had a wake and bake, so he merely watched in fascination as Leo's face went through a whole spectrum of emotions that Hyde had never seen on his face, ever. Fear, disgust, sadness, worry and then—

"Oh crap," he sighed, just as the phone started screaming.

And then, pure alarm.

Hyde shook his head. He was probably just a few tokes over the line, he was getting weird and distracted, he needed to focus. His latest dad was cool enough to let him run his record store, he could at least answer the phone.

He made a move, and Leo grabbed his arm with a big, still-alarmed grin. "I'll take it man, you…you… here!" He grabbed his special morning joint from behind his ear (despite the fact it was 2pm) and shoved it at him. "Smoke this! And also, I'm just gonna shut and lock this door behind me. Cool."

This took Leo about five seconds to say and do.

"What the hell, man?" he muttered, putting the joint behind his own ear and sneaking up to the door.

"The Portuguese melon has interesting sex on Tuesdays."

'Huh', he thought, 'Looks like Leo's his usual self after all.'

But he'd spoken too soon. Within seconds, Leo was having a conversation that could only really be described as sober. Sober _and_ serious.

"Yeah, I never liked him either. The guy snorted too much, who does that?... Yes, but that was a long time ago… Fine, but I would never do it if I had a Sl—a you-know-what…"

Hyde, realizing he was snooping and eavesdropping like an old Nanna (or Fez), started to move away from the door, when—.

"What?" Okay, he'd definitely never heard Leo scream before. Especially not like that, like…

_Jackie. Jackie when she was excited._

He pushed those thoughts out angrily. Damn, getting a new girl was supposed to eliminate that irritating thing that he hated. That thing where pretty much everything he thought about led back to Jackie. No matter what he did. He went to a strip joint, still thought of Jackie. He fucked a stripper, one whom he made sure looked NOTHING like her… _still_ thought of Jackie. He even married her, Christ, he even STAYED married to her. Why? To eliminate Jackie.

Now, just hearing Leo scream in a girly, nasal way is still made him think of her. This was useless.

He sighed, completely forgetting about the intriguing conversation happening in his office, and lighting up the joint from behind his ear. He hated getting thoughtful about this shit, it's not like anything for him was truly terrible anyway. Sure, he didn't have Jackie, but it's obviously something he just had to get over. They clearly weren't right for one another, all evidence pointed that way. And hey, he had a killer job and a hot stripper wife. And Sam was great. She was sweet and honest, and never played games. He liked a lot of things about her.

_Liked, not loved._

He took a deep drag, and ignored the thought. He just had to keep not trying not to forget to not think about her. Keep… he had to keep trying not to not think of her… he had to remember to think of her… Dammit!

"Okay, that's enough for me," he sighed to himself, setting the joint down on the ashtray Mr Forman made out of an old hubcap.

Then, Leo burst out, eyes swinging around wildly until they landed on the partly-smoked joint. "I can't believe you smoked some of that man. My special morning joint!"

He snorted, "Firstly Leo, you told me to. Secondly, it's two in the afternoon. That's now an afternoon joint."

Leo grabbed the joint and re-lit it. "Oh cool, guess that's alright then, man. I forgive you."

"Yeah, thanks," he said sarcastically, standing up and stretching his arms out. "Man I got cabin fever, mind watching the store while I go get a burger?"

"Yeah man, cool." Leo tried not to laugh at the word 'watch' until Hyde was safely out of the store.

He gave himself a small pat on the back for actually distracting Hyde. The kid was clever, but he was cut from the same cloth as Leo and stayed away from the serious.

He took a long drag sadly. This would be his last joint for awhile, there was no way in hell he would do what Kirk did. Kirk was a trust-fund baby, and he'd begged to have young Miss Linda Blair, so he got it. Shame the guy was next to useless, and snorted coke like it was going extinct.

If it was up to him, he would have sent Quentin Travers. Sure he was young for a Watcher, but he was an overprotective, overeducated nancy, and that's what a Slayer needed. Even Roger Wyndam-Pryce would've been better, despite the fact he was a dick.

Frankly, Leo was worried. Most Watchers never get utilized in their lifetime. They get a nice pay packet, and die without ever having seen a Slayer. It's all about where you are in the world. The English Watchers are the best of the best, they covered Europe and a selection of major American states. Wisconsin, however, didn't fall under their jurisdiction. Leo was the only fully qualified Watcher within many, many miles.

His knowing the new Slayer quite well was the icing on the cake for the Council. He was now an active Watcher. Christ, he was scared. More than he ever was, and he'd been to war.

The joint had burnt down, and seared his fingers. He hissed, stubbing it out.

Okay. No more waiting. He had to find loud girl…Jackie, and tell her.

This… wasn't going to go well.

/

Jackie frowned deeply at the bags under her eyes. She'd woken up about fifty bajillion times from scary dreams, each one more horrifying than the last. She felt like Rosemary from Rosemary's baby, but without the baby. The image of Eric was burned into her brain, almost like it was real. Which it wasn't, but she was still shaken.

Jackie applied a fourth layer of makeup and was satisfied. She grabbed her purse and flew out the door. Unlike most days, she actually had something to do. Leo had rung her mere minutes ago (which was weird coz she didn't know he could remember phone numbers) and said he wanted to hire her to decorate the record store.

"…" she'd responded, "Yeah, who is this again?"

"Uh, Leo?" he'd answered, confused. "Who's this?"

"It's Jackie, Leo… You called me?"

"Oh yeah! So, wanna help me decorate Grooves? I'll give you eighty bucks!"

She would probably be pretty homeless soon, it's not like she could say no to money, but she had to clarify; "Is this some sort of thing? Like a hate revenge thing or a let's make Hyde uncomfortable thing?"

"…Yes?"

"I'm in," she said happily. She would never get over making Hyde uncomfortable.

When she got there, the ex-boyfriend jerk in question was nowhere in sight, and she pretended she wasn't disappointed.

"LEO!" Jackie yelled, not seeing him. A few deadheads were thumbing through records, and they looked up, startled. Leo stumbled out of Hyde's office, a cloud of smoke billowing out behind him.

"Okay, now THAT was the last time," he declared to himself with a cough. "Hi Loud girl, what are you doing here?"

She stared. "Really?"

He broke into a big grin, "Nah, come in."

Jackie stared unknowingly around the office. She wasn't way into art or anything, everyone knew that was for weirdos who only wore black. But she could see different colours and ideas emerging from the dull walls, and she actually grew quite excited.

But as soon as he shut the door, she felt the mood shift. She almost thought she could hear his heartbeat increase. Which was impossible.

"Jackie…"

"Hey, you do know my name!"

"Er… yes!" He ran a hand through his hair, and she winced. The guy needed a hairbrush and about two tubs of gel.

"Thanks for the job, Leo," she said, quite sincerely, "I'm not doing so well right now, with Steven and everything…" She waved her hands in the air, as if to try brush the memories away. "Anyway, 80 bucks will really—"

"Right!" he said brightly, and Jackie frowned. He hadn't stopped wandering around the office, picking up items and putting them down again. She grew suspicious.

"Hey, this is a real thing right? I mean, you DO have 80 bucks don't you?"

He sighed, leaning back on the wall and then, leaning forward, palms flat, on the desk.

"Jackie…" he repeated, "Jackie, I…"

"Yes?"

He stared right at her, his eyes big, brown and frightened, "…I have an idea."

/

Jackie cackled, red eyes watering as Leo kept readjusting his hair.

"Okay, now this is definitely the last time" he mumbled to himself, which only made Jackie laugh harder.

"You-You—"

"I don't think it's that bad," he argued, as he fiddled with his hair that was now a bun, "Two whole tubs seems a bit… woah."

Her laughter petered off, and blinked at the smog in the room. "I have to use half a tub sometimes," she confessed, twirling perfectly flat hair around her finger, "My hair gets like crazy curly if I don't… kind of like curly fries!" Her eyes darkened lustfully, "God, I could murder some curly fries."

"Murder…" he muttered. He couldn't keep putting it off, he had to tell her now.

"Jackie…" God, this was horrible. "Jackie, do you believe in vampires?"

She rolled her eyes, "Well, duh."

He was almost speechless, "You… you do?"

"Well, if I didn't believe in vampires I couldn't logically believe in unicorns now, could I?" She almost looked offended.

"Um…"

/

Hyde returned to Grooves to see a giant queue of customers and no Leo or Randy. Not that that was a surprise in any way, he often got into work without anyone having even locked up the night before. It didn't seem to hurt business, in fact it gave the store an air of mystery and exclusivity that only seemed to help it.

He didn't apologise for the wait, and went about serving customers. Soon he heard a murmur of conversation coming from his office. He ignored it, but it seemed to grow louder and louder. The calmer voice was definitely Leo, the other voice sounded like Jackie but he was pretty sure she didn't even know Leo existed, and Leo just knew her as 'Loud Girl'.

"Hey Hyde!" Randy sauntered in, a big wooden crate in his arms, "This fell off the back of a truck carrying records to 'Soundz', so hey, free records!" He cut it open, and the smile fell off his face, "Oh dear God, Partridge Family. Shall I burn it?"

"Nah," he said, casually trying to listen in to the conversation going on in his office, "Tape it back up and we'll raffle it or something."

"You got it, Chief!" he said with a sloppy salute. Then his attention was caught on the loud conversation in the office. "Is Leo fighting with the filing cabinet again?"

"No… I think Jackie's in there with him. Can you hear her too?"

Almost as if to answer the question, Leo flew backwards through the door. And 'through the door' was literally, 'through the door'. The door remained tightly shut, but there was a large, Leo-shaped hole in it now, and a Leo on the other side with a swollen eye, on his back.

"Oh my God!" Jackie shrieked, flying to Leo's side, "I'm so sorry, I don't know how that happened I—"

"I… told… you…" he said, winded.

Her eyes grew even more watery, and her face drained even more of colour, "No, no, you're just… I don't appreciate…"

She finally noticed Hyde and Randy. Her mouth fell open, she stared, and literally bolted out the door.

"Jackie!" he wheezed, "The dreams! Remember, the dreams are real! Don't…" He stopped suddenly and wilted. "Fuck."

"Jesus, are you okay Leo?" Hyde asked, "That looked nasty."

"Really? Coz to me that looked like being beat up by a girl," Randy quipped.

Hyde stopped himself from snapping at Randy. He did like the guy, he had some good burns, but there was still something about him that didn't seem quite as friendly as he'd first suggested he was. But just like with his love life, Hyde had quit trying to make anything the same as it used to be. Forman was gone, he and Jackie were over, so he made the best of it and carried on.

He just ignored him, "Are you okay Leo? How did Jackie do that? What's going on?"

Leo got himself up, shooing away the arm Hyde offered, "Nothing, just… bad acid or something. I've got to go." He limped out the door, covering his bruised eye.

"Arrr!" Randy said in a pirate voice, and Hyde couldn't help glaring at him this time.

"Hey, why don't you go down to the hardware store and get some things to fix my door?" he said curtly, walking away towards his office before getting a response. He stared at the door with wonderment. He twisted the knob. It was locked. He prodded the splintered wood, and it fell apart at his touch.

"Something weird is definitely going on," he muttered, "And I'm gonna find out."

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Jackie: Slayer of the Vampyres.**

A/N: This is based on the Jackie the Vampire Slayer Challenge(forum) .net/topic/37807/48204897/1/

**A/N 2: I also very much need a beta to help me with editing. Continuity, grammar and tenses are my main issue (as you'll read from these first couple of chapters), so if you're interested please PM or email me.**

A/N 3: There is a small homage to the English series 'Red Dwarf' in this, if you're a fan you may spot it.

Summary: Like Jackie doesn't have enough to deal with… set during/after 'You're My Best Friend' ep3, season h8, and then an alternate universe from there (with a few familiar circumstances).

/

**Chapter 3**

Jackie ran. She ran and ran.

Leo was a freak, he didn't know what he was talking about.

Her a Killer? Or whatever the hell it was?

Impossible.

She was just abnormally pretty, that was all. Not abnormally strong and agile.

"Heads up!"

Her hand grabbed a Frisbee out of the air before she even realized it was flying at her head. She stopped running.

"Woah, sweet catch baby!" A tall, lanky hippie ran over to her, eyes wide behind his glasses, "Are you a professional?"

"Am I a professional idiot? Um, NO!" she said, way too angrily. She chucked the Frisbee at his feet and kept running. Then she ran until she realized she had nowhere to run to, so she slowed.

Leo was obviously lying. She didn't know much about him, all she knew was that he was a major deadhead and he abandoned Ste-Hyde without even a goodbye.

She laughed. Why had she taken him seriously? His whole persona was a routine of ridiculousness, of course he was trying to mess with her. Probably as some sort of revenge on Ste-Hyde's behalf.

Jackie spat out a bitter laugh. Of course it made sense that nearly everyone turned on her since their breakup, she was the one who betrayed him.

"Not!" she screamed in her head, wiping away a tear that'd formed. Not only had he betrayed her, but everyone seemed to love Sam, more…

More than her.

Self-pity began to rear its ugly head and she wiped away another tear. Then she realized where she was, 10 feet from the Pinciotti's house. An odd rush of anger filled her, almost empowering, and she marched purposefully to the front door.

"Donna!" she yelled, knocking furiously on the door, "DONNA PINCIOTTI!"

The door opened, and so did her mouth to start screaming, but then it closed. Donna looked awful, the bags under her eyes rivaled Jackie's, but Donna didn't have the common decency to disguise them so they just hung there like miss-matched luggage. Speaking of 'just hung there'…

"Oh Donna," she said sadly, "You're hair!"

Angry red roots had begun to appear in Donna's usual blonde locks, which instead of being styled, now encircled her head like a halo of bad taste.

"Leave me alone," Donna mumbled, but she opened the door for Jackie to enter.

Sam was nowhere in sight, but her cheap perfume lingered in the air, and something else…

"Donna… have you been drinking?" she asked cautiously.

As soon as Jackie said that, she retrieved the hidden bottle of rum and took a swig. "Why? You gonna tell me off? Jackie the Big Bad Bitch?"

She secretly liked that nickname, "Of course I'm not going to tell you off! Well, I will for that hair but we'll save that for later."

A surprised smile appeared on Donna's face as quickly as it disappeared, "What do you want?"

"I wanted to talk," she said stoutly, "But first, will you offer me a drink already?"

The smile remained this time, at least until they were seated with their quadruple rums.

Much to her shock, Donna burst out first, "I'm so… freakin'…lonely! Eric's gone! He's just gone and now…now… he won't return my calls."

Jackie's mind flashed to her weird dreams, then back to matter at hand.

"I…" She wanted to punch her. Yell at her. Scream in her face. Ask her 'why?' But Donna's puffy eyes and face, twisted in pain, deflated her. All she could feel was empathy. At least, for right now. "I'm sorry Donna, that sucks... for God's sake Donna, if you keep looking so surprised your mouth will get wrinkles."

Donna's mouth snapped shut, and she took a deep sip of rum. After a few minutes silence, she spoke"I'm sorry, Jackie."

"What for?" She knew what for, she just wanted to hear it.

"For that whole business with Sam. I've just… been so lonely," she repeated, "I feel like I've been in a daze since Eric left. I keep getting this horrible, horrible feeling that something bad has happened to him…"

"_Help… me!" _

_Eric's eyes, wide with fear._

Jackie shook her head to clear it. "…but then, Mrs Forman says Eric calls her like… all the time, so he must be okay he's just…" She burst into deep sobs, "H-He must just… not be… c-calling me.

She really wished Donna would stop talking about Eric, her mind kept telling her,_ "there is something wrong… there is something wrong… there is something wrong…"_

It was almost like Donna read her mind, "I'm sorry to keep going on about Eric, I know Hyde is a jackass as well."

God, it was nice to hear someone else say those words, "Thank you, yes, exactly!" They had both finished their rum by this stage, so both broke into hysterics, which would resume anew as soon as one of them said, "Gawd, what a jackass." Of course as the bottle of rum grew emptier and emptier, the insults became weirder and more hilarious; assjack, jackbottom, Heidi the Jackal and Jackie's favourite…

"Assface!" They were cackling like witches, taking pure delight in completely demeaning the weaker sex.

Jackie had missed this so very much

/

Jackie was boiling. Sweat dripped from her every pore, soaking her hair and clothes.

"Gross!" she said, pulling her hair off her neck. The heat was still unbearable.

She'd been here before. The tents near the cabin. Every night she had gone into the same tent, and witnessed unspeakable acts performed on her best friend's boyfriend. But she wasn't led into the tent like usual, her feet took her further and further away. She walked until her feet hurt.

"This is a dream," she said, "Why do my feet hurt?"

She approached a large, rocky hill and circled it twice. On the third lap, she noticed a small opening. Light shone through it as if a fire was lit, so she crawled through the opening, desperate for answers.

Of course it was just Eric sitting by a fire.

"Oh, will you go away, Eric!" she said, "I know you're not really in trouble."

"Oh, he's in trouble," Eric responded instantly.

Jackie jumped in alarm. Eric never usually responded coherently in these dreams, in fact, this was the first dream she had where he was decomposing in front of her eyes.

"He is? I mean, you are? I mean, you are Eric, aren't you?"

She somehow already knew he wasn't. "No, I'm using his form to talk to you without scaring you."

"Who are you?"

"I am the first Slayer."

That word she kept hearing, that word that was total nonsense and she couldn't possibly be and—

"It isn't total nonsense," said the Slayer, "The sooner you get on your path, the sooner you can help prevent misdeeds."

"'Help prevent misdeeds? she mocked, "Yeah, coz that's what I wanna be doing."

"You don't have a choice, you're the only one."

That's what Leo had said. She swallowed her panic.

"Yes, it is what your Watcher said. For as long as there have been Slayers, there has been a mortal to watch over her. He is your Watcher, he will help you."

"No offense, but Leo can barely help himself, let alone…"

"He will help you," the Slayer repeated sternly.

She was almost too scared to ask, in case it also reconciled with what Leo had said.

"Kill demons and vampires," it said shortly, "And help save the world."

She blinked, "Is that all?"

Dead, Slayer eyes finally settled on hers, "I know you only joke because you are frightened." It frowned, "But stop it, it's annoying."

"You've got the wrong girl."

It looked unsurprised, "That's what they always say. That's what I said when I was first chosen."

"So you're chosen too, huh? Well, why don't you go slay things?"

"I'm dead."

"Can't really argue with that," she muttered, panic growing, "Well… what about 'they'? Other Slayers? Can't they—?"

"Dead," it repeated, "you're the only one."

"What happened to the last one? Surely she—?"

The being actually rolled it's eyes, "Dead, Slayer, she's dead, every Slayer is dead except you. You know how there's only one? You're it. Why? EVERYONE ELSE IS DEAD!"

"So… are you trying to tell me that every other Slayer is dead?"

Another attempt at humour was wasted on this She-Eric-Slayer thing, and she nervously wiped away a bead of sweat. Was it just her, or was it getting hotter?

Ignoring her last question, it continued"You are the only one who can help save the world. First, you need to save your friend, that will get you on the right path."

"Save Eric?" she said doubtfully, "Go to Africa? Um, I hate to tell you this, but that probably won't happen."

"You still don't believe," it said, with a dramatic sigh of discontent. The cave grew warmer still. "Talk to his mother."

"…huh?"

"Talk. To. Eric's. Mother," it snapped, "You'll see I'm right."

"…muh?"

It stood, even in Eric's body it was commanding and threatening. The heat was now unbearable. She backed away but it only became hotter "Talk to Eric's mother, Slayer, or you will burn!" Suddenly she was engulfed in flames, she screamed, and then—

"Jackie!

Her hand flew out, swiping at the imaginary flames. It also collided with something soft and squishy.

"Ow!"

Her eyes flew open, and Donna was on her ass next to the bed, holding her chest, "Owww, my freakin' boob! Where'd you learn to smack like that, bitch school?"

"Well, I certainly didn't learn it from giant ginger school," she retorted lamely, rubbing her eyes.

"Good one."

"Bite me."

She felt so much better now that things were better between her and Donna again. It wasn't perfect, but it never was and at least she wasn't alone any more.

And then comes the dream to spoil it all.

She was still clinging to some small hope that it had just been an excessive, vivid dream. Really she knew something was different. She was definitely stronger, she'd now proven three times she could knock a bigger, taller and what should be stronger man on his ass (Donna counted). Her senses were much sharper, and her steady heartbeat seemed to pump more blood and adrenaline through her body per minute than she'd ever felt… well, at least usually…

"Why are you blushing?"

"Nothing!" she said, brushing away the thought of bright, blue eyes and thick, callused fingers…

She shivered, "I mean. I'm not!"

"Whatever you say, you little pervert."

"Donna, I have to go to the Formans, wanna come with?"

At the mention of the name Forman, Donna visibly drooped, "Not really Jackie. Mrs Forman seems to like rubbing it that Eric keeps calling her instead of me. I'll probably just stay in and finish the rum."

"First of all, we very much finished the rum. Second of all… look, weird stuff is happening and I can't explain stuff right now…" She hesitated, "…and there might be a chance… that something bad could have happened. To Eric."

Donna's eyes widened to saucers, before dropping again, "No, he's fine, he calls Mrs Forman like, all the time."

"Yeah, but what if he doesn't?" Jackie said reasonably, "What if Mrs Forman's lying?"

"But…" Suddenly, Donna jumped to her feet and began to pace. "Hang on, hang on, she has done that before! She always lies to make herself feel better about things with Eric and me. Like when she walked in on us having sex one time she—"

"Okaaay that's enough of that!" she sang, covering her ears, "The point is, it's possible. And if you're getting funny feelings, and I'm getting funny feelings, don't you think it's worth…"

"Definitely." Donna said. Eyes steely with resolve, but full of more hope than Jackie had seen since… well, since Eric left in the first place.

For the first time since the dreams started, she felt a genuine fear for Eric's life.

She hoped it wouldn't be too late.

**TBC**

_Coming up: The Gang Goes to Africa!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Jackie: Slayer of the Vampyres.**

A/N: This is based on the Jackie the Vampire Slayer Challenge: (forum)  topic/37807/48204897/1/

**A/N 2: I also very much need a beta to help me with editing. Continuity, grammar and tenses are my main issue (as you'll read from these first couple of chapters), so if you're interested please PM or email me.**

A/N 3: I've just realized in the challenge it says that Jackie should be completely abandoned for the first few weeks of being a Slayer, but I decided to go with a more light-hearted approach. Thanks, TheElegantFaerie, for the review and the idea

A/N 4: Another homage, this time to 'Friends'. Again, if you're a fan you'll catch it.

Summary: Like Jackie doesn't have enough to deal with… set during/after 'You're My Best Friend' ep3, season h8, and then an alternate universe from there (with a few familiar circumstances).

Chapter 3, Part II

As much as Jackie loved confrontation, dramatics, yelling, all the fun stuff, she wasn't looking forward to this particular confrontation. Donna was right; Mrs Forman could be pretty crazy when it came to Eric. Jackie was never scared by Mr Forman's tirades and rants and 'dumbasses', but when Mrs Forman was angry… well, she learned about that when she was twelve and tripped Eric up on a dare.

Jackie was even cuter at twelve, and Mrs Forman still ripped her a new one.

A bush rustled and she could vaguely sense a heartbeat that wasn't hers or Donna's, but she couldn't be bothered right now. She actually had a mission.

"As much as this is potentially bad, you know, for you and Eric," Jackie said mildly, "It's nice to have something going on for a change."

"I'm glad you find it so amusing."

"I don't think it's _that_ amusing. I was just _so bored_."

Donna laughed and shook her head, pulling open the sliding door to the Forman house.

"What's so damn funny?" Red barked instantly, before they had even made it inside. He was peering over his paper at them, face distorted in its usual annoyed expression.

"Hello, Mr Forman!" both girls chorused brightly, going either side of him to plant a kiss on his cheeks.

"So what, people are kissing me now?" he grumbled, doing very well to hide any hints of a smile, "Why can't you people hang out with your own parents?"

"Oh cheer up Red," Kitty sang, "Today is a day of romance and love. Girls, have an anniversary cookie!"

Jackie picked up one of the giant cookies with '25' iced onto it and had a polite nibble. It tasted like cardboard; she couldn't concentrate on anything other than how she was going to ask her almost-sorta-surrogate mother if she'd been lying about the whereabouts of her son. On her 25th anniversary. She was kinda wishing she could be bored again.

"So, Mrs Forman…" She swallowed, then had an idea, "So Mrs Forman, Eric called me last night."

Both Donna and Kitty's head whipped around to stare at her accusingly.

"What?" they both snapped in unison.

Jackie flipped her hair and remained casual, "Oh yeah. Why are you so surprised Donna? He called you too… _remember_?" She gave Donna a pointed look, and immediately her pissed of expression dissolved into one of cool knowing.

"Oh right. Yeah, I forgot because… because it was such a long, meaningful conversation."

Jackie nodded at Donna like what she just said made any sense.

"So… so he _has_ called you Donna?" Kitty asked coolly, "And you as well?"

"Yeah," Jackie continued, "You know, I think he's called almost everyone. He's called you too though, hasn't he Mrs Forman?"

She already looked close to tears, and Jackie turned around to study a photo on the fridge so she could pretend she hadn't noticed.

"Yes," she squeaked, "He calls me all the time… he can't stop calling… so, he's really called you? Everyone?"

Both girls nodded.

She let loose a trademark laugh, face going bright red. Jackie and Donna knew the signs, and both slowly backed away.

"AHAHAHAHA! Well isn't that just…" She now appeared to be strangling the dish towel she had previously been wiping with, "My, my, isn't that just-just rip off your head and spit down your necks fantastic!" Her eyes flashed, and the two girls took another ginger step back, "Isn't that just… Isn't that just…"

"Good one girls," Red sighed from behind his paper, "You broke her."

"AHAHAHAHA! Don't be silly, Red, I'm just…" All pretense of being fine was suddenly dropped, "That _ungrateful_ little beanpole!" she shouted, throwing down the dish towel, stamping on it four or five times, "I will kick his _ass_!"

Jackie threw Donna a knowing wink, but Donna just looked pale and worried.

"Anyway, we really should go, Mr F. See you at the party tonight!" Jackie said hastily, ushering Donna towards the door.

"Yes, well _do_ hurry back," said Red, voice dripping with sarcasm, "You know how we _love_ your little visits." He shoved them out himself.

As soon as they were out the door, he could hear his wife wailing all the way from their bedroom.

"Crap," he muttered, folding up his paper, "Ah well, at least one day I'll be dead." He visibly brightened at the thought, and went upstairs to cheer up his wife

/

Hyde wasn't spying.

He wasn't.

He just happened to notice Jackie and Donna scrambling out of the Pinciotti house. It kind of annoyed him; he'd noticed the two girls drift apart recently, and Jackie no longer following Donna around like a wounded pup actually made his life a hell of a lot easier. He'd actually hoped she might eventually disappear forever.

If he'd done his job and made things unbearable for her, that is.

"As much as this is potentially bad, you know, for you and Eric," he heard her say, "It's nice to have something going on for a change."

"I'm glad you find it so amusing."

"I don't think it's _that_ amusing. I was just _so bored_."

He literally wiped the smile from his face. If he was spying, which he wasn't, he was doing it for a reason. No, not to see her skin glowing surreal in the sun, (that was just something he happened to notice) it was because of a broken door and a shady Leo. Hyde had been pretty bored himself recently, and this was far more intriguing than Laurie with a tail. He hoped, anyway.

The girls disappeared into the Forman's, he moved to follow when—

"Oof!"

He collided with Leo, who also happened to be hiding in the bushes. Must just be one of those days.

"Woah, man! Plant hostility, not cool."

He pushed himself up from his ass, and offered Leo a hand. "It's just me man, what's up? Why are you spying on Jackie?"

Pause, "Why are _you_ spying on Jackie?"

He hated when Leo was rational. It must be August.

"I was curious," he said stoutly, "About how she put you through a door."

He stood up straighter, pushed his shoulders back and recited, "That is an unimportant matter of a private nature."

"…Why did you just do an English accent?"

"Don't know, old bean," he said with a goofy grin, "Sounds jolly spiffing though, whatwhat!"

Hyde laughed. At the moment, Leo was the most constant thing in his life. But Leo was a transient who sometimes disappeared for years at a time, meaning Hyde didn't really have anything constant in his life at all.

Although, he did seem to be good at changing the subject without people noticing.

"So why are you following Jackie?" He crossed his arms over his chest.

Leo's good-natured look drooped. "Wish I could tell you man. It's Jackie's business."

"What happened to 'Loud Girl'?"

"Um, I'm right here?"

Both Hyde and Leo spun around guiltily.

Jackie glared at them intently, while Donna seemed distracted with something on her sleeve.

"Forgotten my name already?" she said to Hyde with a sneer, "What did you do, smoke yourself a new brain hole?"

"No, you just make _that_ little impression," he shot back coolly.

"At least _I_ make an impression."

"Yeah, an impression of bad taste." One of the few ways of getting under Jackie's skin was to criticize her physical appearance. The best part about it was it never, ever stopped working.

Her eyes flashed dangerously and he was unmoved. She was all bark and no bite. Unless bite meant tiny, ineffectual kicks in the shin. "I oughta kick your ass!"

He chuckled, "I'd love to see you try, tinkerbell."

Despite his freshly ravaged eye, Leo stepped between the two of them, "Or maybe we shouldn't."

"Whatever," she said, before he could, "Let's go, Donna."

"Huh?" said Donna, finally tuning in, "Ok. Hi Hyde."

"Hey."

Leo raised a small, hesitant hand, "Uh—"

"You come too, Watcher," said Jackie, refusing to acknowledge Hyde further and flouncing off. "Come _on_ Donna!"

"Ok. Bye Hyde."

"See ya."

And then, inexplicably, he was alone.

"This starting to become familiar," he said aloud, pissed off, "And what the hell did she mean by 'Watcher'?"

"Duh Hyde, it's that thing you wear on your wrist that tells you the time." Kelso and Fez bounded over to them; Fez, teary-eyed with excitement and Kelso was the same, except he smelled vaguely of dog.

"Thanks Kelso, you're so smart," he said sarcastically, and Kelso glowed.

"Wow, what a perfect day!" he gushed, "Hyde just said I was smart, it's the Forman's anniversary party, Sam was walking around the basement in a genie outfit…"

"What?" he snapped, trying to hide his humiliation, "I hope she charged you."

Kelso carried on as if he hadn't been interrupted, "… and I'm going to ask Jackie to marry me!"

"What a perfect day!" Fez echoed.

Hyde's heart missed a beat and he thanked God for his sunglasses right now, "What are you talking about?"

"Well, me, Fez and Randy were talking…"

"And then Sam came in wearing her genie outfit," Fez added.

"Yeah, that was sweet."

"And?" he prodded, annoyed.

"And I realized something; the happiest time of my life was when I was with Jackie."

"No it wasn't," he said quickly.

Kelso blinked at him stupidly, then broke into his typical, know-nothing grin, "Don't try confuse me Hyde, that won't work this time. The happiest time in my life was with Jackie." He rubbed his hands together, "So I'm gonna propose to her tonight. Me and Fez are going to get a balloon right now!"

"Tonight? A balloon?" His head was racing. Jackie was a marriage slut, he knew this from when they were dating. She would probably say yes. She would probably one day be Mrs Michael Kelso.

He placed a subtle hand on his stomach to prevent it leaping into his throat.

"Yeah, Jackie once said to me she would rather have a balloon tied around her finger than a ring less than two carats," said Kelso, almost like he'd memorized that sentence. "I just figured… you know, Eric's in Africa doing his teaching thing, you have a hot genie wife…" Oh yeah. He'd forgotten. "… everyone's got things going on with their lives, except me… _and_ Jackie, so it's perfect!"

"Perfect!" Fez gushed again.

"God, you two are pathetic!" he growled, "The reason I broke up with her was so I didn't have to hear any more of this marriage bullshit."

"I thought she broke up with you?"

"Whatever man, do what you like. Good luck marrying _that_, you're gonna need it pal." He walked away before he could hear any more about it. He had his own wife, he didn't need to care about what his ex did. She could go out with Fez for all he cared.

He shuddered involuntarily at the thought.

"Oh yeah!" he could hear Kelso exclaim as he went inside, "I got Hyde's approval. This day is the best!"

"Yeah," he thought grimly, "You have my approval. Now, _finally_ get her out of my life as fast as possible so I can actually move on with it."

/

The Forman's anniversary party ended up being quite an odd affair.

To start with, the guests of honour were late. Jackie, Donna and Leo were sitting by the piano, apparently deep in conversation. On the other side of the room Kelso and Fez were huddled together, whining about how late the Forman's were, and Hyde was seated on the armchair, a smiling Sam in his lap. He was not smiling, however, just watching the brunette on the other side of the room who wasn't Leo.

Then the guests of honour did arrive, in an obvious state of disarray. The source of which was found once the raspy-voiced manager of the Starlight Motel called about Mrs Forman's watch.

Then, out of nowhere, Kelso got down on one knee and proposed to Jackie. She looked shocked, Fez obviously hadn't had a chance to blab about it yet as he always did.

"Your heart is beating fast," Sam whispered in Hyde's ear, moving her hips around, "Is it coz of me?"

"Sure," he said, partly ignoring her.

In fact, everyone was watching them.

"Well?"

"Oh Michael…" she responded, voice misty.

Hyde looked away. Which he regretted forever because Jackie's face morphed into one of supreme annoyance, before her palm came into swift contact with Kelso's forehead and sent him toppling backwards, ass over head.

"Jackie…" Leo scolded quietly.

She ignored him, and pointed an accusing finger at her once childhood sweetheart. "Like I don't have _enough_ to deal with right now? God, you don't even _want_ to marry me, do you?"

"Damn Jackie, you hit a lot harder than I remember!" He rubbed his forehead, before releasing a face-splitting grin, "Nah, thank God you said no!"

He leaped up and they shared a hug.

"What if I'd said yes?" Jackie queried, "Would you've married me?"

He shrugged, "Sure Jackie. I mean, I'd probably be one of those really crappy husbands, but yeah, I'd fall on the bullet."

She stared for a moment, before patting him on the shoulder, "Well," she said awkwardly, "It's nice to see that you've… grown."

"Hell yeah, I've grown. I'm going to be a bouncer for the Playboy Club in Chicago!"

She gave him a small smile, "That's nice." Maybe one day they'd be together, she thought, but right now, with the whole Slayer business and all, she didn't want to be entangled with a man whose kids might come out of the womb wearing helmets. Maybe one day, if she got bored with the whole Slayer thing or her looks started to fade. But not now.

Hyde kissed Sam's shoulder to hide a painfully large grin. The last weird thing to happen that night was when the phone rang.

"Keep the damn watch!" Kitty almost screeched over the line, before her features instantly brightened, and she turned to Jackie and Donna with a look of proud superiority, "Oh, hello… _Eric_."

Nearly everyone expected Donna to leap for the phone, but she, Jackie and Leo went pale, chatting amongst themselves while Mrs Forman gushed to Eric about how much she'd missed him, how much she loved him 'more than _some_ people'.

"I'm talking to him next," Jackie declared suddenly, grabbing the phone rudely from Mrs Forman's grasp and taking the whole thing as far as it would go into the kitchen.

Mrs Forman looked flustered and pissed off, before turning to Donna, "Doesn't that bother you!"

"Nah," Donna managed, unable to take her eyes off the kitchen door.

/

"Who is this?" Jackie hissed, as soon as she was out of earshot.

"Um, Eric. Who's this?"

"I think you know," she said coldly, "Now who. Is. This?"

A noise began on the other end… it sounded like… static? An earthquake?

It was the creature's laugh, slowly building up until it hurt her ear.

"Shut up!" she growled, and it stopped, "Where are you, and what have you done with Eric?"

He laughed again, this time it sounded more like Eric, "Fuck off, Slayer."

And… dial tone. Great, now she would _have_ to go to Africa.

**TBC**

…_okay, now the gang actually does go to Africa. I got chapter mixed up haha._

_R&R _


	4. Chapter 4

**Jackie: Slayer of the Vampyres.**

A/N: This is based on the Jackie the Vampire Slayer Challenge: (forum)  topic/37807/48204897/1/

**A/N 2: _I also very much need a beta_ to help me with editing. Continuity, grammar and tenses are my main issue (as you'll read from these first couple of chapters), so if you're interested please PM or email me.**

A/N 3: Another homage to Red Dwarf. Again, if you're a fan you'll catch it.

Summary: Like Jackie doesn't have enough to deal with… set during/after 'You're My Best Friend' ep3, season h8, and then an alternate universe from there (with a few familiar circumstances).

/

**Chapter 4 Part I**

Another beam of fire shot clean over their heads. Badilini was clearly just messing with them now, and why wouldn't he? What a mess they all were.

Leo was the most together of all of them. His face glowed in the fires that surrounded them as he methodically and calmly continued to chant protection spells. He still wanted to go deal with the creature himself, but Jackie's firm hand around his ankle stopped him.

Hyde was sobbing, arms wrapped around a small, quivering animal concealed in his jacket, "Oh my god, what do we do? We're dead, dead! Who's going to look after Otto? Jackie, I need a hug!"

She complied happily, "Now Steven," she soothed, "It will all be fine—"

Leo tried to wrench himself from Jackie's grasp once again, thinking of the bejewelled blade in his right hand pocket and using it to cut open Badilini's face. Jackie stopped him, sending him falling on one knee.

"Sorry Leo," she said apologetically, "I can't let you do that."

"I'm going to tear his fucking nipples off!" he growled.

"Now, now Leo. Does that sound productive to you?"

Another flame arced over their heads, the protection spell was now doing its thing.

"Would you shut the fuck up?" Donna said viciously, while still regarding her nails, "We're going to die anyway, stop with the optimistic bleating!"

Hyde wiped his eyes, brushing his cheek over Otto's soft fur, "I don't like Donna being _this_ mean."

"Oh shut your whine hole, you pansy."

Hyde's eyes welled up anew, Donna started abusing him for it, Leo made another break for Badilini and Jackie calmly tried to keep everyone in check; "Has absolutely anyone tried thinking of a serene, blue ocean yet?"

Everyone ignored her and she sighed. How were they going to get out of this one?

_Several days ago…_

Jackie returned to the living room after her call from the Eric demon thing. She was livid. Not only would she have to go to Africa, a continent _completely_ populated with foreigners, but some… thing, was threatening the safety of her best friend's boyfriend. And yeah, a good friend of hers too.

Eric didn't realise it, and she couldn't say it, but his basement was her sanctuary. Unlike her actual home, the basement made her feel warm, loved and welcome, and Eric was a big part of that. She managed to tell him he was always special to her, but he didn't know how special. He was like the brother she never really wanted but got anyway. And the idea that he might never come back… that he might be _dead_…

No. Nobody else would be leaving a hole in her life, not while she was alive and could stop it with her badass superpowers.

"Did you enjoy your little conversation with _my_ son?" Kitty said stiffly, organising some appetizers on the coffee table.

She'd become quick with cover ups, it was a handy skill for a Slayer. "Not really, he wanted to ask me what sort of present he should get you since he's coming back soon."

Kitty dropped a quiche, all her disdain melting away, "Really? Oh, happy day!"

"Best day ever!" Kelso reminded everyone, mouthful of cheese puffs.

"Well, he's not back yet," she said coolly, "In fact, I thought I might visit him with you, Donna."

"Huh? Oh right, well, you're welcome to come." Donna was getting good at catching on to Jackie's bullshit too. She would make a fine Slayer friend.

"I didn't know you were visiting!" Kitty said frantically, eyes welling up, "I would have gotten you to get me a ticket."

Ticket? Damn. "Sorry Mrs Forman," Donna cut in, "We won't be there too long, you'll see him soon."

"Well…" her rollercoaster mood was on a high again, "Oh, happy day! I'm as giddy as a school girl! Does anyone else need more drinks, I know I do! AHAHAHA!"

Jackie, Donna and Leo reformed their little group, unknowingly much to Hyde's annoyance, and began whispering furiously once again.

"What do we do?" Jackie started, "We need to get to Eric, like, now."

"I can get tickets," Leo volunteered, "I can just ask the Council."

"Yeah, ask the Council of Watchers!" Donna mocked, "Look, I don't know how you know Eric's in trouble, and I won't ask further… but please stop with the Watcher/Slayer thing, it's really starting to freak me out."

Jackie waved her hand at Donna dismissively, "Oh shush you. Leo told me not to tell anyone, but I figured _you_ of all people could handle it."

"I can handle it!" she shot back without thinking, "Wait a minute…"

"Good!" she said brightly, "Thanks for your support!"

"Um, you're welcome?"

"I'll get onto that now," Leo interrupted, pulling an odd-looking black thing out of his pocket.

"What the hell is that?" Jackie said loudly, "Oh, please tell me you're about to shave!"

"Shh!"

"Don't 'shh' _me_…"

"Shh!" he repeated, "This is a special, secret device that the Council gave me to call them with complete privacy. It's called a _mobile phone_."

Both girls surveyed it with round eyes, "Wow," said Donna, "That's just like something they would use in…" Suddenly, she choked out a sob, "…Star Wars."

Jackie patted her on the back awkwardly, "I know, it's pretty depressing how geeky he is, isn't it? Don't worry, he'll live to nerd up another day."

She sniffed, "What if we're too late?"

Jackie's eyes grew steely, "That's not an option."

/

"I can't believe the Forman's have been married 25 years," Sam sighed, resting her head on his shoulder, "Do you think we'll be that happy after 25 years?"

"Yes," he responded, eyes fixed on the whispering trio. What in the fuck could they be talking about? Why did Eric talk to her and WHY was he coming back so soon?

Why was Donna crying?

If Forman was in trouble he needed to know, know and help.

He half stood up to join the conversation but forgot Sam was on his lap. Luckily she took it as a come on and suggested they make their way to the attic. Hyde agreed and told her to meet him there, he just had to take care of something first.

"What the hell is that?" he said loudly as he approached them, eyes on the small, black device in Leo's hands.

"That's a Star Wars-themed present for Eric," said Jackie, in the same tone of voice she always used to address him, "In case you were wondering, a present is something you buy for someone when you care about them, not something you scrape off the bottom of your laundry hamper."

If she was trying to piss him off the distract him, it was working, "Really? I thought it was putting a price tag on how much your loved one is worth?"

"Which explains why everything you ever got me was worth nothing."

"Yeah, I guess it would."

Anyone passing between their gazes probably would've spontaneously combusted.

"Anyway," he said, tearing his eyes away from Jackie's, "I didn't come over here to start a fight."

"And yet…"

He kept talking over Jackie's snide comments, "I came her to say I'm coming with you to get Eric."

"Okay."

"Uh, no."

"NO!"

"Well," he said happily, rubbing his hands together, "Since Donna, Eric's girlfriend, said okay, and I also don't care what any of you have to say anyway, it looks like I'll be joining you."

"No, you won't." Jackie looked ready to punch him again. He was fast growing familiar with that expression.

"Yes I will, _doll_. I'd like to see you try and stop me."

She almost did, if it weren't for Leo, "Okay!" he said, situating himself between Jackie and Hyde, "Hyde you can come but go. Now."

"Whatever," he said, throwing a smile to Jackie, "I have to go _fuck my wife_ anyway."

He heard a struggle behind him, and an 'Oof' from Donna, but he didn't look back. The line he'd left on was too good.

It was only as his wife jumped on him as he entered the basement that he remembered he did actually have one. What was he going to do about that? He couldn't take Sam to Africa, Jackie wanted to rip her hair out.

"I have a doctor's convention this weekend. It's in Vegas," Sam piped up, after they were finished, "so I'll be out of town for three days."

He couldn't get over how easy this marriage was. There was no anxiety, no stress, no long talks or 'sharing'. None of those annoying things that Jackie insisted on doing, or saying, or making _him_ do.

He was content, he told himself, he was happy.

But, like almost every night, he fell asleep imagining a brunette head resting on his chest.

/

_Several hundred thousand feet in the air…_

"I spy with my little eye…"

"Oh my God, I will _kill_ you."

"…Something beginning with…'b'"

Jackie grabbed Leo around his collar, eyes now inches from hers, "Bruising," she hissed, "Bad bruising."

"Wrong," Leo sang, undaunted by her nearness, "The answer was… beer!" he pointed to another passenger's beverage, "I would have also accepted 'Budweiser'."

She let him go. He didn't really deserve to be hit again, he was just trying to distract her since she'd said she was terrified of flying. It wasn't his fault he was doing a godawful job of it.

Hyde's voice echoed from the other pair of seats he and Donna were on, "Hey Donna, did you just feel the plane _dip_?"

"Shut up Hyde," Donna admonished.

"Oh God," she hummed quietly, staring ferociously ahead of her, "Unicorns, sunflowers, teddy bears…"

"Apple trees," Leo added.

"Would you shut the fuck up?"

She really wished he would stop talking to her. Ever since he'd first told her about being the Slayer, he'd done nothing but follow her around, checking up on her, making sure she was okay.

She was touched, but it was really getting on her nerves. The last thing she wanted to do was alienate the one person who seemed to understand what was going on. Hence, why she wished he would stop talking.

An empty beer can came out of nowhere and smacked the compartment above her head, releasing her oxygen mask right in front of her face.

She screamed.

/

_Sharm El Sheikh International Airport, on the ground…_

"You know what I love about you, Leo?" Jackie said dreamily, knees sagging as she clutched his collar for support, "Your beard. You look like a Jesus guy!"

"How did she get her hands on a valium?" Leo asked the other two, dismayed. They shrugged, hiding their mirth.

"I used my super Slayer powers!" she did a little Muhammad Ali move and fell on her ass, "Ob-vusly they were sharper an hour ago."

He crouched down next to her, "Jackie, I know you probably won't remember this, but you can't just take things like valium. You're a Slayer, you could die at any moment."

She stared at him for a minute, before leaping to her feet, "Ohhh I'm a Slayer and I'll die if I want to, die if I want to, die if I want to…"

"Jackie…"

"You would die too, if it happened to you!" This time, it was a face plant.

"We need to get to our motel." Leo stood, hand at the base of his spine. "Ooh my back. Hyde, would you grab Jackie?" He gestured to the Slayer drooling on the floor.

"Gonna have to give you a no on that one."

"What a puss," Jackie chuckled from the floor, "Donna will carry me, she's a real man."

"Well, now I won't."

Leo looked at him pleadingly, "Please, Hyde? We're in a bit more danger than you think, especially since Jackie just told everyone in the airport she's the Slayer."

"Shhhh!" Jackie said, spit spraying everywhere, "Don't tell Hyde, _he_ doesn't deserve to know."

"Slayer?" Hyde asked curiously, scooping Jackie up with ease.

"Shhh!" Spit now went all over Hyde's neck, "don't tell Hyde!" she hissed directly into his eyeball, before her head rested limp on his shoulder and wet snores filled his ear.

They made their way over to a taxi. "Yeah," said the blonde, "It's weird, Jackie and Leo have this thing going on where Jackie is a demon-killer and Leo is her 'Watcher'."

He let out a surprised laugh, which made Jackie smack him in her sleep before snuggling in closer. "Watcher? That sounds like a perverted sex thing."

"I'm not so sure it isn't," Donna replied, "I'm just trying to ignore it to save my sanity."

"I know Jackie had no life after we broke up, but that is ridiculous."

"That's my Slayer you're talking about," Leo said, voice hard, "Believe it or not, Eric is still in trouble and she's the only person who can help us save him. So, if you're in any way interested in that, I'd start taking it easy on her and believing _me_."

He opened the door to the taxi and waved them inside, "You should be grateful, outsiders are never supposed to know. The only reason you two know is 'coz she cares about you so much."

He slammed the car door once they were in, and they stared at one another in bemusement. Had Leo really… told them off?

"Something's definitely going on," Donna murmured as Leo made his way to the front seat.

"No shit," he responded, looking down at the girl in his lap. Maybe this was a fantasy, maybe Eric was fine, maybe nothing odd or out of the ordinary was going on, but… he had a feeling. And he never had feelings, Jackie could attest to that.

"Mmmyum," mumbled the girl in question, suckling on his sleeve.

For the first time in awhile, he gave her a small, genuine smile.

/

_**TBC**_

_**Please R&R **_


	5. Chapter 5

**Jackie: Slayer of the Vampyres.**

A/N: This is based on the Jackie the Vampire Slayer Challenge: (forum)  topic/37807/48204897/1/

**A/N 2: _I also very much need a beta_ to help me with editing. Continuity, grammar and tenses are my main issue (as you'll read from these first few chapters), so if you're interested please PM or email me.**

A/N 3: Dear 'Suggestions' – I'm sorry, but the story writes itself. If you'd like more input feel free to volunteer to be my beta :P

Also I'm sorry about the wait, as soon as all my TAFE stuff is sorted, and my work is done I will be doing these a lot faster and longer. I can only write at very certain times and days, and I go as fast as I can. BUT, still sorry to my lovely readers .

Summary: Like Jackie doesn't have enough to deal with… set during/after 'You're My Best Friend' ep3, season h8, and then an alternate universe from there (with a few familiar circumstances).

**Chapter 4 Part II (of III – almost done with the Africa saga!)**

"_Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone." – John Mellencamp, 'Jack and Diane'._

/

Despite her benzodiazepine ingestion, Jackie still dreamt. At least for once it wasn't the same thing, now she, Donna, Hyde, Leo and Eric were decomposing in front of her eyes, rather than just Eric. Great. A small otter bit her on the nose, and she awoke with a start.

Hm, this wasn't their motel room.

"Leo?" she coughed, sitting up quickly. He was beside her, waiting with a reassuring smile. They were on a bus, or at least the foreign equivalent of a bus. There was a goat on it. "How did you get me on here?"

"Same way we got you home last night; we carried your ass," quipped a voice behind them.

"We? That sounds like a bit much effort for _you_, Hyde."

"Your not that heavy, _Slayer_."

She rolled her eyes. "So you're going to start freaking out about it now?"

"Nah, I usually don't freak out about things that aren't real."

"Oh my God, would you two shut up?" Donna groaned, "We're here for Eric, remember? Not for Hyde and Jackie's messed-up version of verbal foreplay."

"Excuse me…!"

"How dare you…!"

"All right, EVERYBODY SHUT UP AND HOLD FUCKING STILL!"

There was a collective gasp amongst the bus patrons, two men, one large and one slight, leapt up and pulled large, intimidating guns from their bags. They were dressed in old army fatigues, but in Jackie's opinion they didn't look sane enough for the army. The slight one had his gun pointed at the driver, demanding him to stop, while the large one intimidated the passengers.

Jackie had never seen a gun before, except on TV.

"Oh God…" Donna moaned quietly, but it was enough.

"I tell you SHUT UP!" he bellowed, gun now inches from Donna's face, "Money, jewels. NOW!"

They all complied as calmly as they could. Jackie prayed he would move on.

"Jewel, NOW!" he barked.

"Please," Donna begged, "It's just a crappy necklace, it's not even worth anything, please…"

"Now!"

Donna's hands were shaking, but they didn't seem to be removing the necklace, and Jackie remembered. Eric had given that to her as a goodbye present, inside were pictures of them as children. Sure Donna looked like a boy in it, and Eric like a girl, but Jackie had to admit that it was sweet. If they lost Eric, it would be the last thing he'd given to her.

"Please…"

"Donna!" Hyde hissed, elbowing her roughly.

"Shut up!" the bandit repeated, aiming his gun.

Jackie had jumped up, before realising it and regretting it instantly, "STOP!"

The butt of his gun flew towards her jaw, almost as if in slow motion. She looked down, smiled, and grabbed it, pulling it deftly from his grip. Sensing movement behind her, she swung the gun backwards, turning around with just enough time to see it crack the jaw bone of the slight bandit behind her, sending him flying through the windshield. Within seconds the gun was cocked and pointed at the other one, who was now in a stunned silence.

"Okay," she said in a shaky voice, gun shaking too but still trained at his head, "Money, jewels, NOW!" she mocked, following him as he returned every item of value before leading him off the bus, "Knees!" she ordered, giving him a courtesy thwack on the head before rejoining her group. The bus driver carefully navigated his way around the other bandit, and they were on their way again.

The bus broke into applause. Even the goat seemed thrilled.

She stood and took a grand bow, "Yes, yes, thank you… yes, I know I'm fantastic, thank you, thank you…"

Hyde groaned, and Donna looked at him in bewilderment, "What's wrong? Don't you think that was the coolest thing ever?"

"It was epic," he admitted, "But think about how big-headed Jackie was before. Now she's a demon slayer who's supposed to help save the world, we'll never, ever hear the end of it."

"I think maybe you're underestimating…"

"So _guys_," Jackie interrupted, face bright and eyes sparkling, "How many people's lives did _you_ save today?"

Now, they both groaned.

/

They were nearly the last people off the bus, everyone as they left either shook Jackie's hand, or had some words of praise or thanks. The goat even licked her knee.

"Believe me now, Hyde?" Jackie sang for the fiftieth time.

"Yes," he repeated, for the fiftieth time also.

"I think it's been established that everyone believes you now," Donna reaffirmed.

Leo broke in, "I think the real question is; how come both of you came all the way to Africa when you didn't already believe her?"

Hyde had no answer. Donna tried to answer, but she didn't have one either.

"I love my new Watcher," Jackie proclaimed, as though talking about a new accessory, "He protects me from you chodes. Not that I need it, for I am the Sl-"

"We know!" they chorused.

/

Donna was watching the ground beneath her as their group moved from the left of nowhere, right on in to the middle of nowhere. The distance was already causing her feet to ache, but she barely noticed it. Leo's question had made her think.

She hadn't really believed Jackie up until now. Mrs Forman bluffing about talking to Eric was not a huge surprise; the older Eric got, the tighter Mrs Forman clung onto him. And Jackie, recently, had been in a very odd state. Her lack of confidence was obvious, and the self-aggrandizing statements she used to make with flourish, were now almost said as a joke.

To be honest, she had watched her friend slip away knowingly. After Eric was gone, all she wanted was to think about herself. Someone had to, right? And if being friends with Sam made her life easier, well, then…

Donna flushed red, eyes darting around at the others. She'd been a bitch. She'd disconnected herself from everything that mattered; her dad, she barely talked to now. Eric, she… she would skim through his letters, maybe if she'd read them properly she would have known something was wrong sooner, and Jackie, well what she had done to Jackie was obvious; she had abandoned her friend. All because she was too scared to feel Eric's loss.

Now, he could be dead, and it was all her fault. She instinctively wrapped her hand around the locket she had refused to part with… if she'd been shot for it, maybe it would assuage her guilt…

Woah, what was wrong with her? Her eyes welled up with accidental tears.

"Um, I need to pee," she blurted, emotion causing her to feel dizzy. She threw herself into the woods, just making it out of earshot before a choked sobbing escaped her. The guilt was overwhelming.

"Donna?" she heard in the distance, faint enough for her to shake it off as her own imagining.

"Donna?" said the voice again, closer this time, it almost sounded like…

"Eric!" she shrieked, leaping into his arms, "Oh my God Eric, I can't believe it's you."

He squeezed her tight, breath in her hair, "I've missed you so much."

His voice made her heart beat right through her chest, "I've missed you too… Oh Eric, what happened to you?"

She finally stood back and beheld him. He was at least 15 pounds lighter than when she last saw him. His clothes were torn, hanging off him and exposing several wounds. He looked… terrible. He even looked an inch or two shorter.

"Eric," she breathed, "What happened?"

His gaze went from adoring to dismayed within seconds, "Didn't you read in my letter, Donna? I was kidnapped from the school!"

"What?" she gasped. She'd skimmed through his letters, sure, but she thought she would have noticed a word like 'kidnapped'.

"I managed to sneak the letter past the guys who took me, but after that they had me chained up in a basement. They tortured me for weeks, Donna."

"Oh my God," she said faintly. If she had just read the letter, she could have saved him herself. Guilt returned in waves. "But Jackie said… well, I know this sounds crazy but she said a demon had you, and—"

He laughed weakly, "You listened to Jackie over me?"

"Well…" She couldn't tell him, but he seemed to already know.

"You did… _read_ my letter, didn't you?"

She opened and closed her mouth, and burst out with, "I'm sorry!"

It seemed as though his whole face collapsed, "Donna, how could you?"

"I'm sorry!" she repeated frantically, the guilt making her sick and scared, "It was just so painful for me when you left!"

He held his hands up, entire body a roadmap of pain, "It was painful for _you_?"

She almost fainted as she saw the extent of the damage. She fell to her knees instead, mind now burned with the image of his tortured body.

"Please Eric, please…"

"You could have helped me, Donna," he said sadly, "It's your fault this happened."

She was lost in it now, self-condemning thoughts swirling around her head. She didn't even register the love of her life's saddened face changing into a twisted grin.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed, "I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, I feel so… so…"

"Guilty?" he asked delicately.

"Yes!" She buried her face in her hands, tears pouring down her face.

"Good," he replied, before his mouth unhinged itself and a large, grey, muscular tentacle emerged from his throat and latched onto her forehead. Now, he could feast.

/

A scream echoed through the humid air. Jackie, who had been about to bitch about Donna's lateness for the fourth time, immediately charged into the forest in the direction of the scream. Why did she let her go by herself? Hello, they were here to kill a demon for God's sake.

"Please be okay, please be okay…"

Her heart stopped as she approached the blonde, sprawled on the dirt, colourless and still.

"Donna…" her voice broke, and she fell to her knees beside her, "Donna, please…"

She was breathing. Thank God.

Hyde and Leo finally caught her, and Donna mumbled a small groan.

"It's okay, it's okay," she whispered, stroking her friend's hair. She was so relieved she was alive, "Are you alright, Donna? What happened?"

She opened her eyes, blinking dizzily, "Well, I think what happened was… I told you to fuck off, because your voice grates on my ears?"

She sat up quickly, a bright smile on her face.

"Oh, while I'm at it, why don't all of you fuck off as well?"

/

_TBC…_

_Wtf? Find out next time in the last part of the Africa saga!_


	6. Chapter 6

**Jackie: Slayer of the Vampyres.**

A/N: This is based on the Jackie the Vampire Slayer Challenge: (forum)  topic/37807/48204897/1/

**A/N 2: _I also very much need a beta_ to help me with editing. Continuity, grammar and tenses are my main issue (as you'll read from these first few chapters), so if you're interested please PM or email me. I really wish I'd had a beta for this chapter especially, but… no.**

A/N 3: Sorry this took so long! It just happens sometimes when I have random weeks of too many chores/nowhere to write. Hope y'all enjoy!

Summary: Like Jackie doesn't have enough to deal with… set during/after 'You're My Best Friend' ep3, season h8, and then an alternate universe from there (with a few familiar circumstances).

**Chapter 4 Part III**

"My shoes are gone, my life spent, I had too much to drink, I didn't think, and I didn't think of you, I guess that's all I needed." – REM, 'Half a World Away'

/

It took awhile to sort through the confusion. Jackie's new blanket for hurt was now violence, so her first reaction was to lunge for Donna's neck. As her Watcher, this was fairly wearisome for Leo. There wasn't much about it in the Watcher diaries, but it was part of his duty to protect others _from_ her, not purely the other way round.

For a Slayer with no training, she could still land many-a painful hit.

"Ow," he muttered, as he came between the two girls.

"Sorry, Leo!"

"Sorry, Leo!" Donna mimicked in falsetto.

"Donna, what the hell is wrong with you?" Hyde liked 'em bitchy, no doubts about that, but seeing Donna like this was disturbing. She could burn better than most, but she was never cruel. It was almost like…

"Soulsucker," Leo declared, tapping a small red mark on the sour blonde's forehead.

She smacked his hand away, "Don't touch me, hippie."

"She's had her soul sucked out." Hyde didn't even bother asking. Of course she had her soul sucked out. Getting your soul sucked out is the sort of thing that happens now, apparently.

"Part of it," he elaborated, "A Soulsucker starts out by removing one emotion at time, and slowly merges with its primary victim."

Hyde shook his head. It wasn't the content that bothered him, it was the fact that Leo was saying it.

"So he's merged with Donna? No wonder she's being such a bitch."

"Kiss my ass, Fuckface."

"No." He studied her carefully, and she flipped him off, "No, she's still her. He was just collecting, I think he has one of her emotions…"

"I still need to piss, quit yapping."

"… maybe shame?"

"Looks like." Donna began to remove her jeans and squat before any of them had the chance to turn away. They did quickly, making sure not to move too far away in case the Soulsucker returned.

"If he was just eating, it means he already has a primary victim."

"Eric, right?" Hyde said quickly, accidentally fascinated.

"Yeah, and if Jackie's having dreams about his danger, it means his process is nearly complete. Soon he'll have access to full physical form, without having to eat an emotion first."

"Access to his full physical form?" Jackie repeated, "That doesn't sound so bad.'

"His full physical form is twelve feet tall, armoured and can shoot fire."

"He just looked like Eric when I saw him," Donna said from behind them, finished and re-pantsed. Okay, she was being horrible, but at least she was helping.

Leo nodded cautiously, "He did that to get a strong emotional reaction out of you. Soulsuckers are psychic, they can read what will affect you most."

"How many does it need? How long do we have to save Eric?"

Leo went slightly red, "I don't really know anything else, I forgot some of my books."

"If I offer you guys up, will it leave me alone?" Donna asked.

"Let's make some moves," Hyde interrupted, "Before this thing… guh." He suddenly seemed to lose all feeling in his face. His jaw dropped open, eyebrows quivering.

Jackie felt a familiar fear strike her, "Hyde, what's wrong?"

Just as suddenly, the almost identical thing happened to Leo. "Spluh."

Her eyes darted around, hands up and ready to… whatever, that thing where they end up hurt and she ends up with sore fists. And then she saw.

It was a field of tall, green… pot.

Her hands flew to her eyes so they wouldn't smash skulls instead, "I hate you guys so much. You realise this is almost definitely a trap, right?"

They were already in the field, a broken cry of "The mothership!" echoing through the weeds.

"So much hate," she repeated in a whisper, realising she was in fact completely alone.

Hyde came back out first, armfuls of fat, crowning buds on spindly stems, "Sweet."

She bristled, "You know, we _are_ actually being stalked by a shape-shifting _demon_. Something to think about _maybe_?"

He smelled some of his findings, not even looking at her, "Ah, so even in Africa you don't shut up."

"Shut up?" she said incredulously, "I'm the one saving everybody, think about that."

"I try not to think of you as much as possible."

She spluttered, almost lost for words. Almost. "God, you are such a jerk!"

"Yeah, and you're a cold bitch."

Meanwhile, in the field, the actual Hyde was hypnotised by the biggest plant he had ever seen with purple buds on it. Pulling out his jet lighter, he grabbed an errant branch, lit a bud and inhaled as much smoke as he could. His chin suddenly resting in the dirt confirmed it was quite a bit stronger than Wisconsin weed.

He heard some yelling in the distance, and it made him laugh slightly, before bursting into uproarious song, "There's a little song which I wrote, you might want to sing it note for note, don't worry, be happy!" The yelling ceased, and he smiled in self-satisfaction.

"And something something something frown, well just turn it upside down, don't worry…"

"Be happy?"

"Don't worry, be happy now OOOOH, OOOH…"

Badilini rolled his eyes. This human hadn't even needed him to trip up an emotion. He hadn't even noticed him joining in the song. He was still full from the Slayer's anger, but he needed to drain all these humans. It was obvious now that they were coming to rescue his human vessel, and he couldn't allow that. Not when he was so close.

The demon quickly finished off the young male, all he needed was the elder and it would be complete. So he quickly read his mind, took the shape of his greatest fear, and waited patiently.

/

Badlini lurched off slowly into the bushland after he had consumed the fear of the elder. He had eaten too much, far too much, he needed to sleep it off. It was worth it, all he needed was another emotion and the transition would be complete. He was in a very opportune position; not only would he achieve full physical form, but he would bag a Slayer while he was at it. Good for the rep, that. He looked at his still-human hands with disgust. This human he'd chosen seemed even bonier than usual, but he was a teacher of children, and children were easy to provoke emotion out of. Typically fear, which could get tiresome.

Thankfully, the four adult human scum had offered a bit of variety. He was now burping up remnants of fear, anger, cool and guilt. Cool gave him heartburn, it seemed.

Luckily, they appeared not to know that the Slayer was essential for his complete ascension. Complete physical form was one thing, but immortality was another. It would be his; he had her anger, now all he needed was her happiness.

Soon.

/

"Wake up."

Jackie felt a nudge on her forehead, and took a deep breath in shock. Eyes flying open, she sat up, coming face to face with a very sour blonde, "You took like five minutes to wake up," she snapped, "My finger is tired and I'm bored. Can we go?"

"Oh my God!" Jackie said sharply, "I am so, so… sorry!"

Donna looked puzzled, and then annoyed about being puzzled, "What?"

"I'm so sorry I made you wait there for five minutes. I should have woken up sooner, I'm such a horrible person. Forgive me?"

"No, should we find the others?" she asked, looking around tiredly, "I can't really be fucked, but it feels like that's what we should be doing."

Jackie leapt to her feet, leading them through the weed field. "You're so completely right Donna, and such a wonderful and unique snowflake."

"Shut up."

"Anything you say, although perhaps we should keep the conversation to constructive 'I' sentences. For example, _I_ feel that…"

"Shut up."

"Righteo."

Suddenly, a wild-eyes hippie emerged from the greenery, "Die, devil spawn!"

Jackie greeted him with a soft, friendly look and a head lock as his makeshift club almost collided with Donna's head. Her mild, gentle smile uninterrupted as he flailed about in her grip.

"I'm going to rape the back of that soulsucker's head with my dagger!" Leo growled, eyes wild and red.

Jackie looked worriedly at Donna, "Do you think rape is really a positive word to be bringing to the group?"

Donna once again ignored her, "Leo, you're the Watcher, tell your stupid Slayer to stop acting like a medicated, balding career counsellor named Glen?"

Leo had calmed down so Jackie released him. He studied her carefully, "Well, we've all been headfucked," he declared bluntly, "Loud girl's lost her anger, and I don't seem to have any fear—goddamn I will KILL that fucking—"

He almost took off again, and Jackie tripped him over to stop him, and bent over him with a wide smile, "Now, now Leo: _con_struction, not _de_struction."

He glared at her resentfully, "The only question is, where's Hyde?"

He answered that himself by barrelling straight into Donna. His face was shiny and red from exertion. His black shirt, the one that usually made him look as cool and as casual as a rockstar, now seemed too tight and too loose at the same time. His curly hair, usually adorable, was now half-flattened with sweat yet somehow frizzier from the humidity. To top it all off, he had a very un-Hyde expression on his face.

"Hi guys, sorry Donna!" His voice was higher, more frantic.

"Where are your glasses?" Jackie asked politely.

He frowned, causing his face to scrunch up like a pug, "I stepped on them. But lookie what I found!"

Donna mouthed 'lookie?' at Leo, and they both shared and evil chuckle. Jackie ignored them and gave Hyde her warmest smile, "What is it? I've been desperate to create an easy, free-flowing dialogue, so some sort of-WHAT THE BISCUITS IS THAT?"

Hyde held it up proudly, and it squirmed half-heartedly in his grip.

"I dunno, but he's hurt, I couldn't just leave him."

Donna put a comforting hand on his arm, "I have a hessian sack here, I could drown him for you if you like?"

"Donna!" he gasped, in a very feminine way.

"What? I'd put rocks in it obviously, wouldn't even take a minute. He wouldn't suffer… much."

Hyde couldn't even respond, but he instinctively moved closer to Jackie and held tighter onto the small mammal.

"It's a spotted-necked otter," Leo informed them, "Pretty common here, but usually in water. We should really find Eric's camp, chances are the soulsucker –motherFUCKER- is hiding out there."

They followed obediently. Except Donna, who kept purposefully trying to trip over Leo without him noticing.

"It's crazy, huh?" said Hyde, spit inadvertently hitting Jackie's cheek.

Jackie, happy to have some positive conversation at last, jumped on it quickly, "What is?"

"How Leo was like hiding all this cool stuff he knew and… secret life, and stuff like that."

Suddenly speechless, Jackie could only nod.

"Kinda like you," he added, tripping over a tree root but staying on two feet.

"Me?"

"Well, you knew you were the Slayer, and—"

"I didn't know I was the Slayer," she informed him.

"Oh," he said with a goofy smile, before it dropped right off, "Wait, what do you mean?"

"Well… I didn't know I was the Slayer. Not until I beat up those bandit guys." She bit her lip with regret, "Oh no, I hope they're okay!"

He looked dismayed, cuddling the otter tighter. "But… then why did you stand up?"

She felt shame, sadness, empty and scared. These were not emotions that the Soulsucker had taken. It also hadn't taken her lying abilities, and like every day she geared herself up for a story. But then, she just… didn't.

"I was over it. I was over everything."

"B-But you said… you said you believed…"

"Shh!" hissed Leo from ahead of them. They did, and soon a faint chanting sound reached all their ears. Leo pulled out his dagger, jewels glinting in the dusk, just like his eyes. "Stab o'clock."

Jackie grabbed him, the tenth of the fiftieth time she would do so in the next twelve hours, "Now, now, Leo. You know perfectly well that that's not the time."

"…Preeetty sure it's stab o'clock."

"Why don't we just have a look first?"

"Kill joy."

"To be fair, you're the one who wants to do the killing. But, I do apologise for killing your joy."

"Oh my God, you are such a chode. I want the old Jackie back," Donna moaned.

She had no idea that her comment, while made to hurt, made Jackie's heart soar.

"Thank you, Donna," she choked out, tears in her eyes.

"Shut up."

"Shh!" Leo repeated, as they approached the source of the noise. Seven African men and women were circled around a blazing fire. Jackie thought they had instruments, but it turned out that all those strange, humming noises were coming from their throats. It was beautiful. Leo's hand drifted up, and Jackie followed it. In the middle of the fire were several items slowly being consumed, one of which was Eric's Star Wars sleeping bag.

'What do we do?' she asked with her eyes.

"OTTO!" Hyde shrieked. The otter had squirreled from his grip and made a mad dash towards the fire. With a leap, catch and fall that would have made the three stooges proud, Hyde had suddenly made their presence known.

Leo looked at her hopefully, "Sta—?"

"No stabbing." She stepped from their hiding place next to Hyde on the floor, who was cuddling Otto and regarding the tribesmen with abject fear, "Hello, I'm Jackie, we were just passing by, and noticed you were burning the personal possessions of a dear friend of ours. Do you happen to know where he lives?"

They stared for a minute, conferred with one another, and a round but short woman stood. "Hello Slayer. We know why you're here, and what you're looking for, but I'm afraid we don't know where your friend is. We burnt down the school to kill him, but he is now loose."

The temperature had dropped rapidly as the sun began to set, so the newly welcomed group crowded around the fire with them. The woman was the only one who could speak English. Leo spoke a little African, but he was quite enraptured with the rotund woman, whose name was Femi. They also learned that the demon, named 'Badilini', had infected Eric months ago and wreaked havoc over not only the school, but their entire village.

"Why hadn't he attacked you before?" Hyde asked curiously, speaking over Leo's fourth attempt to ask Femi what exactly her eye colour was.

"Another soul eater did, the last time a Slayer was here. I think it was 600 years ago? Usually they only attack every 1000 years. We are not sure why he has come."

The group murmured in assent, meanwhile Jackie's head was spinning. The demon only attacked Eric because he knew her. This was all because of her.

"You're a new Slayer," Femi declared suddenly, eyes (that were clearly just brown, _Leo_) on Jackie.

"Yes," she answered feebly.

"I can tell. The guilt is so strong with you."

"Oh, do you feel less guilty over time?" She perked up a bit.

"No, you learn to conceal it better. The protector of the world also carries a world's weight of problems."

Donna cackled, "Oh, _burn_."

After a few more facts about Badlini were uncovered, and Femi gave Leo the correct spell book to defend against shape-shifters, they finally asked about the sleeping bag in the fire.

"It is a little protection ceremony, for your friend. To help you defeat him, if it comes to that." 'If you don't die first,' went unsaid. "Your dagger has been blessed and protected too?"

Leo nodded.

"Enhance weapon?"

He nodded again.

"Then we mustn't engage you further. I… I wish we could help more."

Jackie almost had a fit trying to assure Femi that they had helped tremendously, and a thousand apologies from encroaching on her time. But before she could get a sentence out, the group hummed like a dialtone before literally popping out of existence.

"Well, that was normal," Donna snapped, "How about we—"

Fire lit up the night sky, a perfect ring encircling them, drawing them into a huddled group. Hyde screamed. Leo hastily pulled out an old-looking volume

And there he was; Badlini in full physical form. Without the fire, it wasn't really impressive. It just looked like Eric, but with red and black eyes and, well…

"Eric's naked!" Jackie squeaked.

"My eyes!" Hyde wailed, covering Otto's eyes while scrunching his closed.

"His penis is a lot bigger than you'd think," Leo remarked, "Well done, Donna."

Jackie had to peek, "Wow, you're right. Talk about a big fish in a little pond."

"Enough about genitals!" Badilini boomed, which made Donna cackle. Until he shot another beam of fire.

"Behind the rock. Through the fire. Go!" Leo barked, gesturing in the direction of a large rock, "I'll get this cock-sucking—"

Jackie didn't let him finish, and grabbed all three of her group, tossing them behind a rock with an ease she still wasn't used to, "Sorry buddies!"

"You almost hurt Otto!"

"Touch me again and die, bitch."

"Let me at him, I will REMOVE HIS FACE FROM HIS FACE!"

"Leo, the spell?" she reminded him wearily, and he angrily pulled out the book and began to recite the defence spell Femi had taught him.

Another beam of fire shot clean over their heads. Badilini was clearly just messing with them now, and why wouldn't he? What a mess they all were.

Leo was the most together of all of them. His face glowed in the fires that surrounded them as he methodically and calmly continued to chant protection spells. He still wanted to go deal with the creature himself, but Jackie's firm hand around his ankle stopped him.

Hyde was sobbing, arms wrapped around a small, quivering animal concealed in his jacket, "Oh my god, what do we do? We're dead, dead! Who's going to look after Otto? Jackie, I need a hug!"

She complied happily, "Now Steven," she soothed, "It will all be fine—"

Leo tried to wrench himself from Jackie's grasp once again, thinking of the bejewelled blade in his right hand pocket and using it to cut open Badilini's face. Jackie stopped him, sending him falling on one knee.

"Sorry Leo," she said apologetically, "I can't let you do that."

"I'm going to tear his fucking nipples off!" he growled.

"Now, now Leo. Does that sound productive to you?"

Another flame arced over their heads, the protection spell was now doing its thing.

"Would you shut the fuck up?" Donna said viciously, while still regarding her nails, "We're going to die anyway, stop with the optimistic bleating!"

Hyde wiped his eyes, brushing his cheek over Otto's soft fur, "I don't like Donna being _this_ mean."

"Oh shut your whine hole, you pansy."

Hyde's eyes welled up anew, Donna started abusing him for it, Leo made another break for Badilini and Jackie calmly tried to keep everyone in check; "Has absolutely anyone tried thinking of a serene, blue ocean yet?"

Everyone ignored her and she sighed. How were they going to get out of this one?

"Come fight me Slayer, or I'll fry all your friends," sang Badilini.

"Not on your life, crackerjack!"

Leo had taken this as an invite for himself, so he made another attempt at getting to the demon. Distracted, Jackie grabbed him too late and he fell headfirst on the rock. He was out cold.

"Nice one, _crackerjack_," Donna mocked in her best 'duh' voice. "He was our spell guy, can _you_ read Latin?"

"I'm so sorry!" she whispered, running a soothing hand over Leo's cheek, "what are we gonna do now?"

"Hold still, Otto!" Hyde whined, voice breaking in a way that it hadn't done since he was 12, holding onto the squirming animal, "You might get hurt."

"We should've drowned that thing," Donna said moodily.

"Guys, what do we do? I don't know how long protections spells last and—"

"I know what you can do," said Badilini, now five feet from them, "You can die. Who's first?"

They were silent for a few seconds. Eyes round and glistening with fear, crackling fire the only sound around them.

Jackie looked down at the dirt, "Um, me?" She grabbed a handful of it, and sent it into his stupid eyes. His hands flew to his face, and she took it as her queue. She was glad she'd half paid attention to all those Bruce Lee films Eric, Michael, Steven and Fez loved. Her moves were pretty sloppy, but powerful and quick as a Slayer should be.

He was stumbling, bleeding. She was winning.

She turned back quickly, eyes searching for what they were always subconsciously searching for. They found them; blue, kind of grey, with crinkles around them when he smiled. He was smiling at her now, proudly, and she smiled back.

"I'm win—uh." Her face seemed to lose all feeling, and her mouth fell agape. There was no pot field this time, however, it was a flaming fist, sunk partly into her abdomen. The punch was mis-aimed and sloppy, but it was strong. Strong enough that she fell to her knees, then her back. Strong enough to send tears down her face, and blood into the dirt.

Her life didn't flash before her eyes. Just a single, tiny moment; her favourite moment in the world.

"_That's what I love about you Jacks… you're completely **insane** and need **help**."_

"_You love me?"_

"_Shut up."_

"_It's okay, Steven, I love you too."_

Dully, she noticed a small, grey blur run past her head. And then, blackness.

/

Hyde watched in horror as a random, blind swipe of Badilini's buried itself inside Jackie's torso. Burning meat smell hit his nostrils just as she hit the floor.

"No," he said quietly.

"Did I get her?" Badilini asked brightly, blinking furiously to get dirt from his eyes, "Is she dead?"

Before Hyde could react, Otto was out of his jacket. He didn't care anymore.

"Jackie," he said weakly. Nothing made sense yet, aside from his imminent death. That made more sense than he ever imagined.

It made even less sense when Otto flung himself into the flames and burned. But what took the cake for senselessness was that after he burned, a white bulb of light emerged in his place. The bulb turned into a splodge, and the splodge turned into… one of the ugliest things he'd ever seen, with what looked like a large penis on his forehead.

"BADILINI!" shouted the creature, whose voice was even more booming than Badilini's.

"Atsu!?" gasped Badilini, "What the fuck?"

"Otto?" Hyde asked, quietly.

"My name, human who cries, is Atsu, and I'm here to take my brother home."

"Aaatsuuu," Badilini whined, "I'm about to achieve immortality! See, the Slayer is dead…" Jackie moaned, and shifted, "Sort of."

"Fool, that Slayer is nowhere near dying. It wasn't even your turn, it's Tamika's turn."

"Tamika is a kiss-ass."

"AND did you ALSO forget we weren't supposed to come back for 400 years? Did that slip your mind? You're fuckin' retarded, Badilini."

"You are," he shot back pathetically.

"Dad's gonna kick your ass," declared the squat, misshapen Soulsucker, "Now get out of that human, you look ridiculous. You're naked, for Gaia's sake."

"Shut up," he said moodily. His eyes squinted shut, and suddenly Eric's body collapsed, and a multi-coloured mist swirled out of his mouth.

It began to take the shape of a similar creature, when Atsu barked, "Don't you dare reform, get in the fire Bad. NOW."

The mist dissolved into the fire, with what sounded like a 'Screw you, Atsu.'

He turned to them guiltily, "I'm sorry about this, guys. No hard feelings?"

Emotions returning to them with Badilini's dissolve, they couldn't respond. He gave them a cheery wave, and dissolved into the fire.

Hyde felt his cool return, and the embarrassment that caused, and then he remembered.

"Shit, Jackie!"

He rushed to her side, just in time to see her flash him a sweet, dopey look… which then hardened towards him. And suddenly, they were just them again. They hated each other, they weren't close any more, and everything about them was embittered.

He shoved away the disappointment, and inspected her stomach. It had been deep, but her skin was healing right before his eyes. She would be fine.

"Looks like there's another upside to being the Slayer. Look."

She gave a weak smile as she also observed her skin knitting together. But she couldn't respond. Her lack of anger towards him had made her give too many things away, she was vulnerable to him now, and that was a position she vowed she would never be in again.

"That was fun," he offered when she didn't respond.

She sat up, wincing, until her eye caught on something. And she smiled, "It was worth it."

He looked around, and next to Leo's unconscious body, was Donna and Eric. She was kissing every part of his face as he groggily came to.

"Love you… never leave again… I will tie you down!"

"Sounds good," he coughed.

Maybe it had been her fault, she thought, but she fixed it. And now they could go home.

"Uh, Donna?" said a recently conscious Leo, "Your boyfriend is pointing at me… not with his hand."

It was definitely time to go home.

/

_TBC_

A/N I'm actually quite open to requests and suggestions (given my no beta thang) so if you have any please do. Or just review if you can


End file.
